Are we to far gone?
by superbella07
Summary: When he leaves Sleepyside, he leaves a broken trail behind him. but when he comes back will Trixie and the rest of the BWGs be able to fix there broken lives? Will have more romance as it progresses.
1. Chapter 1- You Haunt Me

She walked home alone as the summer sunset. The waxing moon drew her in like it does the gentle tempered sea. It reflected in her eyes as she allowed her mind to wander. This time she could no longer prevent her thoughts from twisting back to him. All she could do was squint her eyes shut as if this motion would erase him from her memory.

She knew that she should have gone immediately home, Brian would be bitter after begrudgingly watching Bobby all afternoon. Yet, this was the first time back to the Manor house all summer and it was the right time to face what she had avoided. Honey had been careful to dodge the subject of her brother, but it came off, to Trixie, as stiff and cold. The fragile fact Trixie was now clinging to was that after tonight, she would have a peaceful weekend to herself.

She turned and continued walking up the driveway lined with the sweet smelling roses she planted. The thick wooden door swung open before Trixie even reached the stoop. The glaring look on Brian's face portrayed his discontent more than Mart's extravagant words ever could. He closed the door behind him as he stepped out to the crisp evening air.

'I told Moms I would be home late.'

He remained standing with his arms crossed. Although Brian projected an aura of responsibility, his level-headedness often collapsed under the burdens he supported on his shoulders. Trixie knew all too well to not provoke her brother during exam season, and especially this summer. He seemed to follow the same maxim with her.

'Yes, and you also promised you would look after Bobby.' He replied dryly. 'Guess who got stuck babysitting the rascal while you hung out with Honey'

'I'm so sorry Brian, I owe you.' She said as sincerely as possible, knowing Brian could read her like a book. 'Is she home now?'

'Yeah' he answered with a curt nod. Trixie's eyes lit up and she took a couple of steps back. Her brother gave her a funny look before catching on.

'Meeting tonight?'

'Hurry up slowpoke!' she called as she jogged backwards. Later turning and running in the general direction of the clubhouse.

* * *

Trixie burst through the door, the ancient door creaked as it closed. Apart from this, it was dead silent, and for a moment Trixie paused. Diana was in the far corner comforting a sobbing Honey. They locked eyes over the brunette's head. Honey looked up and sniffled, trying to form a weak smile. Trixie rushed over to rest a hand on her shaking shoulder and asked Di what was wrong. But it was Honey who spoke up.

'He's back.' she choked out before erupting into another fit of tears.

The butterflies no longer occupied the space in Trixie's chest. A deep sinking feeling of dread filled in instead. She sat down next to her friends, suddenly weighted down. The three girls huddled in anxious silence, waiting for the other foot to drop.

Trixie's mind went into overdrive, old detective skills kicking in again. It had been at most a half an hour since she had wished Honey goodbye and went to make sure her brothers remembered the meeting. She had been perfectly fine. And Jim. What happened in that small space of time and why did Diana look as confused as she felt?

Deep voices could be heard from the surrounding woods, in the direction of Crabapple Farm. The boys were minutes away. Trixie forced her lungs to fill. Reminding herself that Deja-view was just that, something already experienced. She couldn't hear his voice joking with the rest of them. She only truly let herself release the breath when she saw all three of the current male Bob-Whites. Jim had lost membership a long time ago.

Trixie immediately warned her friends and aided Honey into standing. The slender brunette wiped frantically at her eyes, not wanting Brian to see her like this. Honey was always scared to revert back to her fragile nature from before she met Trixie. And as for the tall dark haired man who gazed at her through the dusty window, she didn't quite realize the full extent of her own feelings. Or that there was a possibility that he loved her back, tenfold.

Later, after a normal meeting with little squabbling, the group broke off to head their different ways home. Brian had offered to walk Honey home, something that did not get past any of the other club members. Mart and Trixie strolled back the other way.

"Is Honey okay? She didn't look good when we came in." Mart asked with no snark or big words but it still made Trixie stiffen, scared that he knew the events of earlier. It made her go back over it again. He's back. It made her shiver. He hadn't told them where he had gone. The only way the Bob-Whites knew he was alive was the vague letters he sent Mr Wheeler which all mostly contained the subject of finance. California, that was the only information she had.

* * *

Brian's hand brushed Honey's as they walked home. The next time he got bolder, linking his pinkie with hers. She giggled and glanced over to see his cheeks flush and a grin from ear to ear. A small curve pulled at her own lips as she guided him to behind a cluster of trees. Honey perched on her tippy toes, leaning on his arm for support so she could plant a delicate kiss on his cheek.

Acting on a fleeting longing, he pulled her into his arms. Her nose brushed against his as their foreheads rested against each other. Her heart was beating out of her chest in anticipation. A war ragged under her skin as her brain fought for control. She had studied him for years, diminishing her feelings as a fleeting crush. Now his lips were hovering over hers and she felt like she would die a happy woman. If only he would close the space.

She couldn't understand what came over her, but in this most intimate moment, her brother swirled through Honey's head. Maybe it was because she was picturing what Trixie had mentioned about her own first kiss. Or possibly the movement of Reagan and the flash of ginger hair as he strode past the trees separating them from the open grounds of the Manor house.

'Jim' she muttered under her breath.

Brian took a step back, hands still firm on her waist. 'What about him?'

It came out a bit gruffer than expected and Honey's head snapped up. Her eyes were wide and questioning.

'I- I saw him today… After Trixie left.' Their eyes locked and remained steady. A small tear dropped down her cheek and Honey broke away to wipe it with her sleeve. It seemed, lately, that Trixie was the cause of both all her suffering and joy. The hazy summer only provided a spotlight that pointed out every crack in their friendship. Her mind tumbled and turned. She couldn't avoid the fact that maybe it was easier to blame it on the girl who was always getting them into trouble instead of her dear brother. But she still adored Trixie. Honey's mind was torn in two heartbreaking pieces. She knew that Jim was wrong, but she also deep down knew that it wasn't him. He would never do this.

Brian was struggling to stay level-headed. 'What happened Honey?' his voice cracked and he saw her heartbroken look through her veil of hair. She turned back. Honey bit her lip and closed the step between, the arms that encircled her provided a comfort she hadn't felt before. She sunk into him, promising herself never to let go.

Brian only tensed. He would not get away with this.

* * *

Mart had outgrown his fascination with Cosmo McNaught space adventures books, it has been months since he has even laid eyes on one. Years ago he would have defended it against the greatest work of science fiction, now they only occupied the donate box in the basement. Slowly, an interest in agriculture lead him to join in with Jim's plan to open a boys school in the woods. It just shows how people change. Trixie had not solved a mystery in months, almost as long as when Mart last saw his comic collection. She still liked to read her lucy Radcliffe books, even though one had not been released since she was fourteen. It has stuck with her how much she has changed, along with the people around her. Hopefully for the better.

Brian was to be at work, Mart had already eaten half the pancakes and Bobby was chasing Reddy around the yard. Things start out as close to normal as they can to Trixie. But people change, drastically, detrimentally. Beguiling: that's the word Mart would use.

The promise of a mini holiday spent in her room, all to her lonesome, was ceased after a request from Honey. Although her friend had not elaborated, she understood that any favour now was not to be taken lightly. It wasn't until she saw her brothers car that Trixie began to regret her decision. This was unlike him to skip work for a girl, even if that girl was Honey.

Making her way through the gardens, Trixie could make out the low muttering of voices. Expecting to see Regan and possibly Brian, she rounding the last corner before facing the stables. Catching a glimpse of his tall frame, Trixie lurched with confusion.

'Brian!' she called before the realization set in.

There was someone else walking out of the tack room with Honey.

When Trixie was in grade school, the assemblies were long and boring. The only elementary school in Sleepyside had a low budget and did not have the luxury of a chair for all students. She would sit for almost an hour, and when she stood up, it felt like someone had cut off her feet. This feeling spread like a wildfire through her body.

His eyes that were once filled with kindness were now replaced with hatred. The green gaze drilled into her, a look that terrified her more than it should have. She knew that months earlier it would have hurt ten times more - but it brought her no comfort to think about that now.

Jim's jaw clenched. She was standing some yards away with the sun glowing behind her. Previously, he would have thought her to be an angel, but he knew the real Trixie now and she was anything but angelic. Words came bubbling to the surface, the old Jim would have pushed them down. Mr Honourable died the moment he saw them. He had given her an identity bracelet with his name on it and this is how she treats him?

'Where's lover boy? Or is your cousin back in the picture?'

* * *

For all Honey knew, Jim wasn't supposed to be there. And neither was Brian. All she wanted to do was gossip about the moment she had shared in the woods the previous night to her best friend. She was just as surprised by the young men as her friend was. Jim, who had spent the past day in her father's study, should have been there again. She had enough for Trixie to not stage a reconciliation yet. As for brian, she couldn't say she didn't like him showing up unexpected, most likely to finish their previous meeting. This was, however, not the best time.

A trembling in her gut warned Honey about what was about to happen. She locked eyes with Brian. He was visibly trying to control his anger. She desperately stared at him with pleading eyes, attempting to warn him not to do what was inevitable. She stumbled over to his side, gripping his arm. He didn't look down at her watering eyes. He was no longer the honourable medical student. This time he was going to let himself go, this was the final push. Honey saw that in the tensing of his muscles under this shirt and the glare in his eyes.

Trixie took her chance to take off towards a riding path she knew like the back of her hand. Jim paid her no notice and she was careful not to feel relief. his temper was only rising.

'Get away from him, Honey' Her brother commanded.

She didn't leave because of him, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction. Trixie was delving further into the tree line. Running towards the path, she glanced back once more. Only to catch the beginning of something she thought she would never have to experience. Honey desperately shook the image from her head before her own tears resumed.


	2. Chapter 2 - Love Fool

_**No matter how many times Trixie tries to return his jacket, Jim is persistent that he wanted her to have it. Often it would be Honey who would shove it back into her arms with a teasing smile.**_

 _ **'You do know every girl in school would die to have his jacket'**_

 _ **Somehow it is only making her feel worse like she isn't deserving of it. She kept forcing back into his arms, not because she was pitying herself, but rather him. He could have much better. Someone tall, his age, sweet and caring. Trixie sees how stressed Jim gets trying to protect her. But that doesn't mean that it isn't nice pulling the thick fabric around her, knowing that it is all for her.**_

 _ **It is a known fact that there are underlying tensions. Jim had grown taller, shoulders broader and cheekbones sharp. The first day back at school every freshman girl fell half in love with him. But Trixie was the only one he had eyes for. And now she not only has his name wrapped around her wrist, but his letterman's jacket draped over her shoulders.**_

 _ **Trixie fidgets with the warmed metal absently. She twists and tugs, her mind going in endless circles of homework and mysteries. Her class had been dismissed early and the bell had only rung moments prior. She hardly glances up when he slides into his seat beside her. She doesn't need to, he always sits there, and she here.**_

 _ **Feeling a sharp tug on a strand of her hair, she silently rolls her eyes. she doesn't want to provoke him. a rough finger twirls it, brushing against her forehead. Her glaring eyes soften. The perfect curl in the front, his curl. She stops chewing the sticky peanut butter sandwich moms packed her and glances up. Jim can't stop the smirk on his face as she whipped around to face him. She shakes her head, trying to prevent her own smile growing.**_

 _ **At first, all she gives him is a warning glare. he puts on mock bashfulness and all is forgiven. That is until he bumps into her while she is taking a gulping sip of water. It pours down her chin and onto her shirt. That's when she snaps.**_

' _ **Don't you dare, James Frayne.' she attempts to whisper in her strongest voice. It's hard when she is trying not to giggle. 'This is your jacket I'm dirtying'**_

' _ **The second' he corrects her. 'James Winthrop Frayne II.'**_

 _ **And that's when she shoves him, a playful one that only knocks him sideways slightly. But it draws everyone's attention. The conversation of the rest of the table settles and stills and Jim has the biggest grin on his face. She tries to play it off, tucking the curl behind her ears and ducking her head. But it is too late. The rest of the table exchange looks while the two sat at the end remain lost in conversation. They are far beyond friends. The only problem is they don't seem to realise it themselves.**_

* * *

 **It felt like a bullet had ripped through her, but the blood didn't match the pain. Looking down, her knees were stained a dark maroon, a rip had appeared. She hardly remembered tripping over rocks or when she started crying. But now her cheeks felt itchy and damp, and her favourite pair of jeans were ruined. It was her chest that was on fire, her lungs empty, heart beating in her throat. It felt like she should be dead. Jim had been like a part of her. Her limb was torn from its socket and she was now left grasping at life. The thought made her tremble.**

 **Trixie collapsed onto the ground, hardly feeling the shooting pain of her leg. She wailed, collapsing in on herself, mortified at her own weakness. At long last, she had finally found the thing that broke her.**

 **Honey found her in a bright clearing, starkly different from the fervent sorrow the girls were both feeling. The long grass and flowers seemed untouched except the trampled trail Trixie left in her wake. Her blonde ringlets peeked out from behind a cluster of intensely coloured orange flowers. Honey's jaw trembled, on the verge of falling to the depth of her own tears. Stumbling over, she fell onto her knees, clutching her best friend as they both struggled to breathe.**

 **She told her everything.**

* * *

 _ **She raced down the stairs. She had been waiting for Diana ever since Trixie left. Now she had to tell miss Trask to save her some leftovers before meeting the dark-haired beauty outside. As she entered into the nursery where miss Trask spent her days knitting, a tall figure barged past her. He hardly looked at her, not even offering an apology. Miss Trask looked devastated.**_

 _ **She ran after him. He was halfway down the stairs and she took them two at a time, the wooden heels of her oxford style shoes creating a piercing sound. She loved those shoes solely for the echoing sound that made her sound more powerful than she could be. He paid no attention, not even to her shouting his name. He was down the last flight before she was halfway down the first. He only stopped running when he got to the bottom. Then eerily, he paused.**_

 _ **He turned around in the grand front hall, the silence deafening as he stared at her. She still stood a steep step above him, only a foot away. She quivered under his gaze and resented him making her feel such a way. Where had her gentle and kind big brother gone? It sat on the tip of her tongue, she should have asked, should have taken that one last step down the hardwood stairs, one more onto the carpet, and stood up to him. But he was almost a foot taller than her, and his temper was easily lost, it was almost halfway gone already. She was instead a coward that didn't even hug her brother. He didn't say one word to her, and that is what broke her heart.**_

* * *

 **Brian was the one that wrapped her wound, let her clutch his hand through the sting of the disinfection, then carried her home. Although he was to start medical school in the next month, he hadn't done much in the way of first aid lately. He understood that it was a blessing, few people wish for injuries. The blame rested on the dull summer. The lack of mysteries to solve left Brain without a duty to fulfil as the one who swooped in and made a perfect splint. It was what made him important.**

 **He knew it was wrong to be so selfish, but he had learned that sometimes it's okay to focus on yourself. He realized that he pushes himself far too much. Honey had taught him that, although he did not indulge in bath bombs and new dresses like her. But late one night as he talked to her on the phone while his parents were asleep, he confessed everything to her. The stress of starting university, the pain of seeing his baby sister heartbroken, all the times he had run so fast that his mind disconnected from his body. He needed release.**

 **Now Honey was stuck in his mind. Why had he let her have so much control over him? He stared at himself in the mirror until his face twisted and morphed. He didn't want to admit even to himself his feelings, it made it real. He didn't want to commit, he was leaving for the city in less than a month.** _ **But,**_ **he thinks to himself,** _ **after all this time, all this pain, shouldn't something good come from it?**_ **That perfect suspended moment, her lips forever reaching towards his. But transience is key, it's what makes life worth living.**

 **Seeing Trixie in tears had made him feel even more worthless. He wanted to beat the living hell out of whoever had hurt her. He already had. The last time he had used bandages and ice was also the last time his knuckles were raw and his lip split. He remembered his father asking if he had left the other guy looking worse, and he confessed he wish he hadn't. He never wanted to hurt his best friend, but family came first. His hands still bore faint scars, along with new wounds. This time he came off worse but did not regret a thing.**

 **Trixie's eyes started to water again as she noticed the blood caked in his eyebrow. He spent time scrubbing himself in the mirror but he only made it worse. He squeezed his eyes shut at the sight of her, taking a long slow blink. The spunky sister was fading and he desperately wanted her to stay. The responsibility he felt for her anguish was a price he was willing to pay. He only wanted the best for her.**

' **He was your best friend' she muttered through a trembling breath. He set his jaw, angry more at Jim then himself.**

' **Not any more'**

* * *

 **The brooding house was silent. Honey's head was starting to ache. She couldn't tell if it was from reading the same part of her book endlessly, or the looming tension that encircled the entire house. Her parents had a work function in town, but Honey questioned if they had other motives. Jim suddenly arriving had knocked everything off balance, and that was another cause of her throbbing temple - the knowledge that he was only a couple rooms over. All that was between them was a broom closet and a small powder room. Honey felt forced to walk all the way around and go down the back servant's staircase. Now with Celia and Tom on vacation as well, since they were less needed with her parents gone, the house felt barren. The door down the hall was ominous, all ways closed, ever silent. She avoided all reasons to pass it.**

 **She was contained in her room. The fuzzy tv in the corner and the stack of books on her bedside kept her company. Miss Trask had brought her up dinner less than an hour ago and the picked at remains were pushed into the far corner of her desk. The sheets of math homework were glowing golden as the sunset that cut through the slits in her blinds. Slipping the bookmark through the crisp paper, she set the book down with a sigh.**

 **It didn't feel like this was her life anymore. She understood that most teenagers don't have the money, friends, or opportunities that she had, but this was a whole other step. It was as if the writers of every soap opera from the last decade was now dictating everything that happened in her life. Secret romance, long lost sibling's returning, past relationship issues that come back to haunt you. Honey understood, that in this case, it was hardly her life, she was the best friend, the sidekick. The one that either survives everything or dies as a plot device. It scares her that she thinks that those are her only options.**

 **Hearing footsteps in the hall, Honey expected them to be her adoptive brother, but they were light and frantic. Racing like there was something on their tails. Honey had begun to stand up when the door swung open and Trixie turned and slammed it shut. resting and panting against the door, pink and trembling.**

 **'Trixie!' Honey cried 'What are you doing here?'**

 **'I dont know' Her friend answered, flustered.**

 **'I just wan- you know what, no. I won't give him that.' Trixie said with a shake of her curls. 'I came to talk to you.' She ended strongly.**

 **'You could have called me' Honey replied as Trixie flopped onto her bed, hugging a pillow to her chest. 'I would have come to you. That way you wouldn't have to...'**

 **Honey trailed off, worried that she might trigger something again. It was unclear what position Trixie was at. Those words had hurt her, but now she was bubbly and seemingly fine. But Honey was unclear if it was all a front.**

 **'We need to do something. I've been thinking and the best thing to do is trigger happy memories'**

 **Honey looked shocked but nodded. If this was cathartic, then it is what her friend needs, as much as it sounds ridiculous to her.**

* * *

 **6729**

 **The code to Jim's locker, his old locker. The one a fresh-faced freshman was attempting to open. His hands were covering the little T she had scratched into the terrible green colour. She wanted to leave a mark, and also Honey had called her a goody two shoes and… well - he seemed like a reasonable choice. He was the only one who wouldn't have gotten mad. Just shows how naive she was. It never would have lasted anyway.**

 **She questions for a split second if she should go help him, but then his head turns and their eyes meet. It makes her shudder, the twinge of longing she feels. Seeing him become replaced, even in this small way, is just another brick laid in the ongoing construction of her new life without him. At first, every conversation was just digging the ditch deeper. When he left was when she realised it was more of a wall then a home. Now it was growing with every realization that it was over and everyone else was moving on. Brick by brick.**

 **He passed her, bag heavy with all the textbooks. Trixie avoids him, letting the swarming crowed push her along towards the direction of the cafeteria. She doesn't look back to see if it still bears her mark.**

 **One brick tumbles down.**


End file.
